How do you define it?
or more importantly, how do you react to it?
Ignore it? Pretend it’s not there?
Avoid it at all costs?
Get defensive about it?
Perhaps acknowledge it. Welcome it in, like an old friend?
Fear, as the dictionary defines it is a distressing emotion, aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc. whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
I believe that it can more, or less than that. – Impending danger seems a bit over the top, but we’ll work with it.
At the moment, I’m 7 1/2 months pregnant, and recently got a massage.
At the end of a massage, the masseuse (a good friend) tells me that I’m fearful of having baby #2. That having two children under two – and being the primary care giver, has me a bit freaked out.
Whoa.
Really? You got all of that from my body?
A silent tear or two escaped, as I realized the truth of her statement.
As she finished massaging my head, she also mentioned that I was defensive about the fear.
Excuuuuuuse me????
Now seriously, do we have to go there??
Ok, so yes, she nailed me – to the wall.
I’m freaked out and defensive.
One child is a lot of responsibility, and while I always wanted more than one and to have them close together, at this point I’m wondering if that was such a good plan.
PLUS people keep telling me how hard it’s going to be. How there’s no way I’m going to be able to run the way I do now. How I can kiss my free time goodbye. How it’s going to be CHAOS.
Which leads me to my fall back – being defensive.
Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I’m superwoman and will get it all done come hell or highwater – likely, without asking for a bit of help or mentioning it to anyone.
Bottom line is this: I’m afraid of how this is all going to go down.
How am I going to maintain my sanity and keep some time to myself, along with running my business, raising a family and spending time with my husband?
Selfish? Perhaps. But true.
Up until now, I’ve swallowed that fear. Avoided it. Told myself that I can do this. This will be fine. I mean, how hard can it really be??
Now that it has been named though, I’ve been looking at it. Talking about it. Thinking about. Facing it.
And that has made it easier.
Why didn’t I start there in the first place?
Avoiding the fear allows it to manifest itself in my body. I’m glad that I was “caught” and it didn’t have to come out as a rash or a blister on my chin. The impending danger is being dismantled and prepared for, discussed and accepted.
I don’t expect that fear will leave my life any time soon. And truth be told, I don’t want it to. For me, feeling the fear means that I’m being challenged and/or pushing my boundaries. If I take the time to stop and examine that fear I usually learn something. It’s all in how you deal with it though. Push it down, avoid it and it comes out some where, some time. Face it and it may not be so fearful after all.
What’s your favorite way to deal with fear?
