This past holiday my mom spent the week with us.
Usually, the day after Thanksgiving, I’m ready for the tree.
Let’s put up the lights and blast Christmas music.
It drives my husband nuts.
This year, not so much.
I was ready to be done with it all. Bring on 2012.
But I have two tiny children, so I really couldn’t simply ignore the season….
I played along.
By the time my mom got to town, I was worn out. Frazzled.
I made peanut butter balls – and forgot the peanut butter.
I forgot an appointment.
I snapped at my mom. Not once, but a few times.
And then I took a step back. Why was I snapping?
What was I telling myself?
My mom told me that I was making a mess (which in fact, I was…) but in my head, she wasn’t just telling me what a mess I was making.
In my head I heard: “you can’t cook”, “you’re not good enough”, “you’re screwing it up”, “what kind of mother are you?”….. It goes on, and only gets worse.
My body gets tense. I shallow breathe, and am quick to snap.
HELLO? She simply said that I was making a mess. Perhaps I might want to put a towel down. But the story I was telling myself made it so much more.
FULL STOP.
This year, I’m changing that story.
I refuse to allow my lizard brain, or monkey mind, or inner critic (whatever you’d like to call it) to run away with my thoughts…or if it does start running, I intend to lasso it in lightening fast.
The story I’m telling this year is one of love. One of kindness. One of freedom, and feeling good. One of full on awesomeness in every way.
What story will you tell?
